Eyshet Chayil Show with Malkah Fleisher - every Tuesday on IsraelNationalRadio.com

Your Best Ever Family Seder

2009-04-27T13:35:00.001+03:00

Whether you're making a luxurious seder meal, or serving more affordable fare, your Passover seder will be memorable because of the environment you create. Learn how to make your kids love Passover, and create unforgetable seder night memories. Plus: Miriam, the Prophetess.

To download the free mp3 podcast click here

10 Worst Meeting Offenses

2007-07-31T13:00:00.000+03:00

Shalom Women of Valor (and the men who love them)!!

On this week's show, we ran out of time before discussing proper business etiquette pertaining to meetings. Many of today's great Women of Valor work for companies, businesses, organizations and enterprises of all times - here's how NOT to wow 'em in the board room (courtest of www.msn.com):

Worst Meeting Offenses

By Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer

Unfortunately, meetings are not an expendable part of corporate America. They are, however – or at least they can seem like – a colossal waste of time. (Unless, of course, food is served.)

Mind-numbing as they may be, meetings are necessary. If conducted efficiently, they’re useful and can help you stand out in the workplace.

Though you might be making all the right meeting moves, there are always folks who struggle with the concept of “good meeting behavior.” There are always those who talk out of turn, snap their gum loudly or spin in their chairs while others are speaking.

Whether you’re the meeting leader or just a participant, prevent yourself from being “that guy” and never make these meeting mistakes:

1. Being Unprepared.

Participant: If you receive an agenda or support material beforehand, read it. Or, contact the leader of the meeting and ask for some background info. Figure out what you’ll be able to bring to the table in a discussion.

Leader: Make sure any technical aides are working – have a back-up plan if they aren’t. Confirm your meeting room; make sure it’s big enough for all attendees to fit comfortably and prepare the room beforehand so you aren’t wasting people’s time. Always provide an agenda or support material in advance.

2. Showing Up Late.

Participant: Whether you’re in a meeting with two people or 200, get there on time. Being late will damage your image and show your disrespect for others’ time. Don’t expect others to review what you missed if you are late.

Leader: Don’t call an “important” meeting and then make everyone wait for you to stroll in at your own convenience. Worse, don’t forget about the meeting altogether and leave your co-workers waiting for you.

3. Being a Meeting Hog.

Participant: Don’t talk just to talk – plan to speak when you have something useful to say. If you’re asked to say something, be conscious of how much floor time you’re taking to make a point. Be blunt, be brief and be done.

Leader: It’s your job to facilitate proper flow of conversation. If there’s someone hogging the floor, it’s up to you to keep track of the time and let others have a turn.

4. Sitting Silently.

Participant: Refusing to participate will earn you a label you don’t want: Either as someone who lacks creativity or who can’t get things done; or your colleagues might get the vibe that you think you’re too good to offer your input. Engage in conversations, even if it’s only to share one suggestion. Otherwise, don’t bother showing up.

Leader: Encourage participation. Don’t hand attendees a topic and let them run with it – lead the conversation and motivate others to get involved. If no one volunteers, take it upon yourself to ask people for their questions, comments and opinions.

5. Expressing Rude Body Language.

Participant: Sleeping, sighing, slouching in your chair, hair tossing/touching/smoothing, spinning in your chair, leaving the room, eating loudly and making rude gestures or facial expressions are all distracting, rude and disrespectful.

Leader: Manage those who are being rude. Don’t put anyone down, but don’t tolerate disrespectful behavior.

6. Conducting Sidebar Conversations.

Participant: Having a side conversation is possibly the rudest thing you can do in a meeting. Even if you’re discussing the topic at hand, save sidebar conversations for after the meeting.

Leader: If you notice attendees chitchatting, ask if there’s a question or concern – this turns the attention back to the meeting’s issues, and lets everyone know sidebar conversations aren’t tolerated.

7. Arguing or Putting Others Down.

Participant: Disagreements are fine – as long as they’re appropriate. Don’t make others (i.e., the boss or your co-worker) look bad. Don’t contradict them, expose their mistakes in a condescending way or ignore their points altogether. If you have something to debate, do it in private and don’t waste everyone’s time.

Leader: There’s no need to discredit others’ ideas or comments just because you are leading the meeting. Be professional when you disagree.

8. Leaving Your Cell Phone On.

Participant: Cell phones shouldn’t even enter the boardroom, but if they do, turn them to vibrate mode. Interrupting meeting progress with your calls is distasteful and disrespectful. If you’re expecting an obligatory phone call, either skip the meeting or let everyone in the room know in advance the call might happen and excuse yourself quietly when (and if) it does.

Leader: Same advice - leave cell phones out or turn them off.

9. Chewing Gum.

Participant: The smack, crackle and pop of your gum are annoying, not to mention rude and unprofessional. Get rid of it.

Leader: You want attendees to pay attention to you, not your gum-smacking.

10. Shutting Down After the Meeting.

Participant: Forgetting what you heard in the meeting is counter-productive. Hold onto support materials, and if you still have questions or concerns, contact the leader.

Leader: Tie up all loose ends in the meeting. Reach a consensus if necessary; otherwise, summarize effectively to answer any and all questions.

The Ten Commandments of Marriage

2007-06-26T13:04:00.000+03:00

Shalom Faithful Listeners!

Here is the article I promised you from last week's show:

From www.Chabad.org

The Ten Commandments of Marriage

By Esther Piekarski

The concept of marriage does not apply only between men and women in Judaism, but rather, our entire relationship with our Creator is considered a marriage. Our wedding anniversary is the holiday of Shavuot, the day in which we received the Torah, and just as a marriage should be continually renewed, so too, each and every year we once again relive the giving of the Torah, our marriage to G-d.

We received the Torah as an entire people, men, women and children, and we are taught that Mt. Sinai itself, the smallest and most humble of all the mountains, was held above our heads, symbolizing the wedding canopy, the chupah. When we received the Ten Commandments, the foundation of the Torah, this represented the giving of the marriage contract, the ketubah, representing our love, commitment, respect and responsibility within this relationship.
Doubt can kill any good marriage

Every time a man and woman marry, as they stand under the wedding canopy, it is a reenactment of our wedding day with G-d, the day we received these Ten Commandments. Therefore, it is clear that when we look more deeply into these commandments, that we will find not only spiritual advice for enhancing our marriages, but very practical and essential guidelines as well.

The Ten Commandments

1. I Am the L-rd Your G-d Who Took You Out of Egypt From the House of Slaves. Have No other Gods.

Let there be no doubt:

In my work teaching and counseling couples, I have met many people who feel uncertain they are married to the right person. They may have been married for decades, but they are still not quite 100% sure. Some may have been sure at a certain time, but then doubt crept in. "Was I too rushed or immature when I made my decision?" "Is he the right person?" "Would I be happier with someone else?" "Did we both grow in different directions, become different people, in the years since our wedding?"

Yes, you were immature when you got married but that is a good thing: You met when you were younger, still flexible, and you grew up together. You did both develop and change since your wedding, but if you keep each other involved in the changes and the growth, they only serve to make you more interesting to each other.

Make no mistake: doubt can kill any good marriage; I hate to think what it can do to a shaky one. I have had experiences with women who were content only after recognizing and wanting to accept: “This is my husband. This is the man I chose to marry.” And upon recognizing that decision, you recognize that this is the man you are intended to stay with, work with, live with, raise children with, pay bills with, figure things out with, and grow old with - this man and only this man.

Now, in this first commandment, the first word is Anochi. Anochi means "I" in the Egyptian language. Now why would G-d start the Torah, indeed the very first of the Ten Commandments, in a foreign language and not in Hebrew?

At that time, we, the Jewish people had just come out of Egypt. Although we used our Hebrew language, Egyptian had also become quite familiar to us. G-d chose to communicate to us in a common language - some common ground with which to start off the relationship. This holds a lesson for us all.

At some point in life, a woman might think to herself, "Oh, he is so different from me." Still, with effort and devotion, common ground can be found. If you have to 'speak a foreign language' for a while, do so.

The use of the word "Anochi" - I - teaches us that G-d put Himself, His very essence, into the Torah. The lesson therefore for us is that we must likewise put our heart and soul into our marriages.

Who took you out of Egypt

Why does G-d keep reminding us where we come from? Is it so pleasant to keep hearing that we were once slaves? Can't we just forget the past and 'move on'?

We all come from somewhere. Much as we would like to start fresh as newborns from the wedding on and have no baggage - the fact is we all come into marriage carrying our backgrounds, childhoods, habits, expectations, differences and perhaps even, G-d forbid, traumas. If we have something in our past that we need to deal with we must do so and not sweep it under the rug. Anything swept under the rug today will only grow bigger by tomorrow - or next week, or ten years from now. Sooner or later, it has to be taken out, examined and laid to rest. Sooner is much better than later. You can really hurt yourself, as well as other members of your family, if you trip on all those lumps under the rug.

Until we acknowledge our baggage, the temptation exists to blame our insecurities on our husband. Is there something within us that needs to be dealt with - something from way back?
Comparing only leads to trouble

We are not the only ones who have a past. Our husbands, too, come from a different home, went to a different school, perhaps grew up in a different culture. As similar as we think we may be, we are still going to be different. Sometimes a woman gets upset about something her husband does or doesn't do because she makes the assumption that “he should know.” For example, you may have a way of celebrating your birthday growing up where you always had a cake and received presents. But things may have been done quite differently in his parents' home. So if you never explain what you expect on your birthday, you can’t be upset if your husband doesn’t know that you want a cake and presents. Each partner must take the other's past into consideration.

2. Do Not Have Other Gods Before Me

Don't look at other men; don't compare your husband to other women's husbands.

Recently my phone rang and it was a woman I didn't know. She wanted to talk. She was unhappy. She was married several years and suddenly realized that her husband was not as smart, polite, fine, well-brought-up, sophisticated, as...

As she spoke I felt that part of her sentence was missing. "He's just not as good as... “As whom?” I asked.

She would not answer. Pressing harder, I asked if they had been out recently with another couple. Taken aback, she exclaimed, "Oh, you saw us at the restaurant?" (The fact is I did not even know to whom I was speaking!)

I assured her that I had not seen them, but explained that it was clear she was comparing her husband to someone else and I asked her to tell me what happened.

She wistfully described how the night before, at the restaurant, her friend's husband had pulled out the chair for his wife, taken her coat and respectfully hung it up for her. Her own husband never noticed her chair or her coat. The other woman's husband had known just what to order and had even known his wife's preferences. Her own husband sat there waiting for her to order for him, announcing that he hated fancy food. Then he joked about people who eat anything other than steak and potatoes. The other man had been so sophisticated and genteel, while her own husband inadvertently insulted the waiter. Why, the other husband had even known all about wines! She had come home feeling very disappointed in her husband.

This is absurd, of course. Knowing which wine to order does not a good husband make! One could argue that the opposite is true.

Focus on the good that is in your husband, the things that matter. By recognizing them, you will strengthen them. Thanking him for his patience while learning with the children, for example, will strengthen that quality in him. Acknowledge and reinforce the good.

Comparing only leads only to trouble. This is your spouse, there is no other.

3. Do Not Say G-d's Name in Vain

Don't speak about your husband lightly or needlessly.

We sometimes have a tendency to put down our husbands in a laughing, joking way. Why? Is there a purpose? What good can it possibly do?

A couple shops together at the supermarket. As they stand at the checkout counter, the wife remembers that she forgot to get something. She sweetly asks her devoted husband to go back down the aisle and get her favorite cereal. As she watches her husband go up and down the aisles - dairy, frozen, produce, cleansers - looking for her favorite cereal that she forgot, she turns to the woman on line behind her and says, "Can you believe this guy? He's going through the whole supermarket looking for cereal! MEN!" Now what was that for? What did these words accomplish? Why is this condescending, husband-bashing necessary?

We all have a need to air our feelings. It helps to hear that others deal with similar situations - that a certain behavior is just "typical male" and not to be taken personally. This is why I strongly encourage women to have a mentor (a mashpia), a good friend, someone to talk to. We all need that heart to heart sometimes. It is healthy to have someone close and reliable with whom to confidentially and privately discuss issues that are weighing on us. This is not needless talk. This is conversation with a purpose, where one speaks of one's husband with respect. Quite different than flippantly and publicly putting him down.
Make time for your marriage

A couple married only a year came to see me. They were in shock. They had just heard that a rumor was going around the wife's home town saying that they were getting divorced! The trouble was that they were the last to know. There was no truth to it whatsoever. The mystery soon became clear.

The wife was a very young woman now living in Israel, her husband's country. Immediately following their wedding it was necessary for her to accustom herself to a foreign language and an entirely new culture, far from home and far from anyone she knew. At the same time, she had to adjust to married life. This is never an easy challenge, and of course there were some difficult moments.

One day, not long after getting married and moving to Israel, a friend called. Hearing her friend's voice brought her homesickness to the fore. The stressed newlywed allowed herself the luxury and release of a long tearful whining session to her equally young, as-yet-unmarried and still-in-school friend. She cried about how lonely and homesick she was - how difficult all the adjustments were.

This inexperienced, young school girl, clearly the wrong person to confide in, hung up the phone quite unhappy and overwhelmed. She had been handed a burden that was too heavy for her. So she shared it. She told her mother that her friend was miserable in her marriage and wanted to come home. It wasn't long before the divorce story spread around town, especially since nobody in America ever saw the young woman, who had actually made the adjustments quite admirably in her own way, managing quite well with her new husband in Israel!

Fortunately this couple is still happily married, albeit with a lesson learned. We must remember to speak to others about private issues only when there is a clear purpose, and we must carefully choose to whom we speak as well as when and where.

4. Remember the Day of Shabbat and Keep it Holy

Remember

Remembering is a good thing. Create good memories for yourself and your family. Time spent together, a smile, a note, a picture, birthday parties and family affairs are all wonderful memories. Pull them out of your memory bank when things get tough. Give your children memories to share. We all have good memories of some sort, collected from our childhoods, that surface at different times in our lives and give us strength. Create new ones in your married life together. Allow yourself, encourage yourself, to dwell on the good times.

I once spoke with a woman who works with couples going through divorce. I wanted to help couples reconcile before they moved on to something as tragic and final as divorce. She told me how she knows whether there is hope for a couple to reconcile or not. She asks them conversationally, "So how did you meet?" If they answer with a little smile, with a glimmer of some positive emotion in their eyes, she knows there is still hope. If they say they can't remember or look back at her, stony-faced...

Keep (literally - watch)

Shabbat is the day we reinforce our bond with G-d, a day we spend time on spiritual pursuits as opposed to "another day, another dollar."

Make time for your marriage. Take a day off, an evening away, some time with no phones, doorbells, or other distractions.

A very busy man was always promising his wife to take time off to be alone with her, but it never worked out. He just didn't have the time in his day, he said. She had no doubt he was truly busy with important things. One day, she told him that one of his biggest supporters had called saying he would be coming to town. She told him she scheduled a meeting for them in the lobby of the hotel where the big supporter would be staying. Her husband duly and gratefully marked the appointment on his calendar. When he showed up to the appointment with two hours cleared to spend with his supporter, he found his wife waiting for him. She said, "I am your biggest supporter, and I need some time with you."

Realize who your biggest supporter really is and give him/her the time and attention s/he needs and deserves. Ultimately, your relationship stands to profit.

To sanctify it, to keep it holy

What can make our marriages richer, stronger and longer-lasting? We must recognize that there is a third Partner in our marriages, G-d. Holiness is the most important word in a Jewish marriage. Treat your marriage as the holy union it is.

Marriage is not just about the two of you. It is not about what you want or what he wants. It is about you, him and G-d. What does He want? If you both focus on pleasing Him, you will ultimately please yourselves and each other as well.

The subject of Kedusha (sanctity) in marriage is a topic in its own right. One must always remember that under the marriage canopy G-d was invited into this union and thereby made it a legal marriage "According to the law of Moshe and Israel." As long as we respect and uphold that making it part of our daily lives, we will merit that our home be blessed by G-d.

5. Honor Your Father and Your Mother

Take this literally. Honor your parents and your parents-in-law. It might be difficult at times. That is why it is a commandment. But if you make the effort to honor your parents, you will gain and so will your children.

There is such a thing as too much involvement. The primary influence and focus after marriage should be one's spouse, not one's mother. However, when balanced, healthy, strong connections with the older generation are beneficial to everyone in the family.

In honoring our parents, especially once they reach old age, we must learn to give them what they need and what they want, not what we think we would want if we were them. In recognition of their age, we need to respect their whim.

As we respect and honor our parents' wishes although they may make no sense to us, so too should we honor our spouses' wishes. More than once I have received calls from men and women (calling in advance of a counseling session) asking me to convince their spouses to see things their way. Basically what they are saying is, "Make him think as I think, make him feel as I feel." People are different. It is so much wiser and more practical to expend effort on respecting the differences, rather than trying to erase them.

6. Do Not Murder

The Torah commentator Iben Ezra says the prohibition against murder means "with your hand or with your tongue.” Physical abuse and verbal abuse are clearly both forbidden.

When you speak cruelly to someone, you kill his or her character, you destroy the personality. Instead of blossoming, you make the other shrivel.
We must recognize that there is a third Partner in our marriages

You may have seen this happen. A very talented, happy and outgoing young man or woman seems to just withdraw after getting married - as if someone killed all their self confidence. (If this happens to someone you know, be suspicious. There might be verbal or physical abuse taking place.) One of the main gifts of marriage is the self-confidence we can attain from a spouse who has confidence in us. A spouse's attitude can either build or, G-d forbid, destroy. Living in a critical, hostile environment is a killer. Living in an environment of love, acceptance and support, on the other hand, builds up a person's self-esteem, setting the stage for success in every aspect of life.

As a spouse, recognize the power you hold. Make the effort to encourage, sincerely compliment and express appreciation. If stealing someone's confidence through verbal cruelty is the equivalent of murder, then uplifting the confidence of another can only be the equivalent of giving them life.

Do not kill- Don't kill his personality; his ability to succeed. Every husband/wife can and should be the cheering squad for the other.

7. Be Faithful

What does it mean to be faithful? It means recognizing that there are areas of marriage that are private. It means that we don't reveal our personal issues to the public - that is betrayal. It means that both a man and woman should respect the private space and time within marriage as sacred and know that what happens there, stays there. It means trust.

A man was at work and heard two of his co-workers discussing an incident that had happened between a man and his wife. As he listened to them laughing at this story, he turned bright red. He recognized the story. It had happened in his house. They were talking about him!

He realized that his wife had told her friend, who had told her husband, who was now telling his co-worker, this extremely private story. To him this was a lack of faithfulness on her part, a very important breach of trust and it was nearly impossible to convince him to go back to her.

8. Do Not Steal

Giving credit where it is due won't cost you a penny, yet can buy you the world

A man I know earned his degree after many years of study. Whenever someone congratulated him, he replied, "The credit really goes to my wife. She took on extra jobs to support us so I could learn. She took the kids out of the house so I could study."

I know a speaker who starts every speech by thanking her husband. After all, she is standing there, beautiful, calm and well-prepared, while her husband is home putting all the children to sleep. She shares the credit with him.

9. Do Not Bear False Witness

The commandment to be truthful reminds us to have honest and open communication in marriage.

Talk! Say what is bothering you. Please, oh please, just say it! We don't receive the gift of prophecy under the marriage canopy. Some women mistakenly think, "If my husband really loved me, he would know what is bothering me." Not true! If you really loved him, you would just tell him, simply and politely. The same applies to husbands.

Don't accuse - share. Stick with "I" sentences. "I feel uncomfortable when..." "I worry that.."

Every time you keep something inside you without revealing what is bothering you, you add a layer of bricks to a wall of your own making. At first you can decide to step over the wall whenever you want. After some time it requires a little jump. Okay, you think, you can jump over such a low wall whenever you decide to. Soon, however, you may need a ladder, but you can still get over it when you really want to. As the years pass and you keep adding one row of bricks after another, the wall grows so high and so impenetrable that you just can’t get over it anymore. Tragically, communication is now totally blocked by countless issues, some tiny, some huge. Issues that were never aired and never dealt with. With expertise and much effort, the wall can still be brought down, at any stage of life, but think how much more productive and less painful, never to have constructed it in the first place.

10. Do Not Covet

Don't be jealous. Now who would be jealous of her own husband? But many women are.

In a lot of situations, especially if the woman is home with the children and her husband goes to work, they are jealous of their husbands' freedom. Husbands can generally come and go whenever they wish, while their wives must find baby sitters and make 100 arrangements before they can walk out the door. Men just call out, "Bye! I'm leaving!" and breeze out the door. Often, if a husband is stuck at work and the wife is then stuck at home with supper, homework, baths and bedtime, this can lead to jealousy and resentment.

Every husband should bear in mind the burden that his wife carries and try to help her as much as possible. In addition to that, he should appreciate and understand her. His verbal appreciation alone can lighten her load more than he can imagine.

Every wife should bear in mind that if she is unhappy and resentful, she should sit down with her husband, or perhaps with a mentor and figure out what she can do to achieve satisfaction and set herself free from any resentment. Maybe she needs to get out and be in the company of other women. Maybe she needs to work additional hours. Maybe she needs to work fewer hours or stop working altogether, for a while, or try to ease the pressure in some other area of her daily life. Perhaps she needs more help in the house, or presently has inept help. Maybe there is one particular friend who is making her feel this way. Mother-in-law trouble, who knows? With a little thought and some discussion, she can figure out what she needs and attain it without hurting her children and she can stop being jealous of her husband.

The Ten Commandments apply to all aspects of our lives and in every situation. If we look carefully and deep within, through adhering to these laws we will first be able to rectify ourselves and from that, we will have the ability to rectify the world around us. The sooner we are able to fulfill the Ten Commandments -both literally and figuratively, the sooner Moshiach will come, and we will be redeemed, may it be Now!

Sorry for the Wait - Matzah Toffee Recipe

2007-05-04T09:48:00.000+03:00

I'm sorry about the long hiatus in posts - I hope to return to this blog much more regularly in the future.

In any event, on last week's Eyshet Chayil Show, I promised you recipes! Because I only tried one of them (and it was AWESOME), I decided to include it.

The rating of "awesome" was achieved in the following ways:

1. It was very easy to make
2. Aside from the fact that matzah was the main ingredient (as an ode to Pesach Sheni), it actually TASTED good!
3. My husband took a batch to the office, and everyone said they thought it was really delicious (I wasn't there, so it's not like they were obligated by my eager do-you-like-my-cooking face

So here it is, courtesy of www.epicurious.com

My Trademark, Most Requested, Absolutely Magnificent Caramel Matzoh Crunch

4-6 unsalted matzohs
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter or margarine
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
3/4 cup coarsely chopped chocolate chips or semi-sweet chocolate
a dash of salt (optional)

Preheat the oven to 375. Line a large (or two smaller) cookie sheets completely with foil. Cover the bottom of the sheet with baking parchment - on top of the foil. This is very important since the mixture becomes sticky during baking.

Line the bottom of the cookie sheet evenly with matzohs, cutting extra pieces, as required, to fit any spaces.

In a 3-quart, heavy-bottomed saucepan, combine the butter or margarine and the brown sugar. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture comes to a boil (about 2 to 4 minutes). Boil for 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat and pour over the matzoh, covering completely.

Place the baking sheet in the oven and immediately reduce the heat to 350. Bake for 15 minutes, checking every few minutes to make sure the mixture is not burning (if it seems to be browning too quickly, remove the pan from the oven, lower the heat to 325, and replace the pan.

Remove from the oven and sprinkle immediately with the chopped chocolate or chips. Let stand for 5 minutes, then spread the melted chocolate over the matzoh. While still warm, reak into squares or odd shapes. Chill, still in the pan, in the freezer until set.

(you can also sprinkle the top with chopped nuts while the chocolate is still gooey!)

Enjoy - I know I did!

22 Tips for High Self Esteem

2007-02-13T13:08:00.000+02:00

Shalom Dear Listeners!

On the last Eyshet Chayil Show (Feb. 13), we discussed all kinds of useful topics and shared great (and random) advice. But we didn't have time for our last segment! So for those of you who are dedicated (and smart) enough to check my blog, here are some great tips for achieving High Self Esteem!

1. Stop comparing yourself with other people.

Human beings can amplify or reduce their value by contrasting themselves either positively or negatively with others. But if you play the comparison game, you’ll run into too many “opponents” you can’t defeat. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. So stop comparing!

2. Stop the critic inside of you.

Some people have a bad habit of putting themselves down often. They say negative things to themselves like, “I’m always late. Why am I such a flake?” or “There you go again, stupid!” So get in the new habit of catching yourself saying critical things about yourself and learn to silence your inner critic. And if this is unavoidable, at least tone down the level of your criticism.

3. Forgive and forget.

Do not waste your time and energy thinking of past hurts. Your time can be wisely spent for other productive things rather than forlorn thoughts. We make mistakes, even when we’re trying our best. Sometimes you just have to apologize, let it go and move on.

4. Associate with positive, supportive people.

The “real you” is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. So keep your interest in life at a high level by being in the company of enthusiastic people. This way, you will get infected by their positive attitude. You will view the world in its full shining glory and move around oozing with energy. In the same manner, it would be wise to stay away from negatively inclined thinkers. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered.

5. Get involved in work and activities you love.

It’s hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. And even if you’re not in a position to make immediate changes in your career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to enjoyable hobbies or activities.

6. Be true to yourself.

Live your own life - not the life someone decided is best for you. You will never gain your own respect and you will never feel good about yourself if you aren’t leading the life you want to lead. So if you’re still making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren’t being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.

7. Talk affirmatively to others and yourself.

Words carry enough power that can either hurt other people or yourself. Similarly, words can generate enough power to give warmth and comfort. So be conscious of your choice of words. Choose affirmative words when speaking with someone.
8. Quit blaming yourself for mistakes in the past.

Many things in our lives are only minimally in our control, but those of us who develop low self-esteem take the full blame for the resulting negative outcomes. Instead, learn to honor your efforts and give proper credit for things that you have done well. Following a practical approach for managing your self-esteem will prevent it from becoming a problem and keep you off that rollercoaster.

9. Make a long list of your personal breakthroughs.

Think of times when you did something that you thought that never could do but managed to pull off successfully. These breakthroughs can generate an authentic source of never-ending pride in you. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.

10. Make a list of your positive qualities.

Not everyone has your unique abilities and talents. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it’s important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn’t working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you’ll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.
11. Figure out the hidden strengths in your so-called weaknesses.

You can’t develop high self-esteem if you constantly repeat negative comments about your skills and abilities. Remember that there is always a positive in every negative if you look hard enough. For instance, you may think of yourself as stubborn, but the flipside is that you’re also persistent and dependable.
12. Rediscover and reaffirm your personal strengths.

Sometimes you have to take a new inventory on what you like about your looks, smile, body, sexiness, health, personality, and character strengths. Don’t sell yourself short. It isn’t wrong or egotistical to praise ourselves.
13. Ignore yourself.

Sometimes the real problem isn’t self-esteem at all but a tendency toward overthinking. When you get this feeling direct your focus to other things. Give it a rest already!

14. Examine your needs.

Some of us need more praise from others than other people do. Some people need to always be accomplishing something, or they feel let down. In other words, it could very well be that you’re ok, but you’re just in a slower activity period right now, so it feels like you feel bad, when you really don’t. Relax, and take it easy!

15. Accept all compliments with “Thank You.”

Don’t dismiss or ignore them. When you do this you give yourself the message that you do not deserve or are not worthy of praise, which by the way reflects low self-esteem. Respond to all compliments with a simple Thank You.

16. Start giving more.

You must give more of yourself to those around you. Because when you do things for someone else, you are making a positive contribution and you begin to feel more valuable, which in turn lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem. So next time you see a downcast or downtrodden individual, pick him up from the rut. Share with him the warmth of your helping hand and watch the glow in his eyes.

17. Be your own cheerleader.

The energy and enthusiasm of a cheerleader is necessary in order to make the radical emotional changes required to raise your self-esteem. Learn how to enjoy a few minutes of self-congratulations instead of jumping right into the next task as if nothing happened, or dismissing it as meaningless. It does mean something. Being your own cheerleader isn’t silly, it’s smart and contagious.
18. Start small and do a task you can accomplish easily.

There’s no faster way to build self-esteem than to add yet another accomplishment to your roster. It always feels good to get something crossed off our to-do list. And it doesn’t necessarily have to consist of monumental accomplishments.

19. Examine the pattern of highs and lows.

Perhaps you’re just in a “praise starvation” mode - it’s been too long since you got a compliment or got to do anything that someone noticed. Or perhaps you started the downward spiral when you said some bad things to someone. It’s always good to remember that self-esteem is a mental construct. So examine your patterns and you’ll know what to do.

20. Get some exercise.

Exercise can decrease ‘stress hormones’ like cortisol, and increase endorphins, your body’s ‘feel-good’ chemicals, giving your mood a natural boost. If you’ve been focusing on one type of exercise, vary that routine and try a different type. If you don’t exercise, go for a walk. Even the change of scenery will do you good. It also forces your perspective to change a little, and you may see yourself in a better light. Also physical activity itself can take your mind off of your problems and either redirect it on the activity at hand or get you into a zen-like state.
21. Take advantage of workshops, books and cassette tape programs on self-esteem.

Whatever material we allow to dominate our mind will eventually take root and affect our own behavior. For example, if you watch negative television programs or read newspaper reports of murders and business rip off; you will grow cynical and pessimistic. On the other hand, if you read books or listen to programs, that are positive in nature, you will take on these characteristics.

22. Take action!

The universe rewards action! When you take action - regardless of the ensuing result - you feel better about yourself. When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you’ll be frustrated and unhappy - and you will undoubtedly deal a damaging blow to your self-esteem.

Consider these simple tips and try them. These activities will never fail to boost your self-esteem. And as your self-esteem grows, the “real you” emerges. You begin to take more risks and not be afraid of failure; you aren’t as concerned with getting approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world. Most importantly, high self esteem will bring you peace of mind - and next time you’re all alone, you’ll truly appreciate the person you’re with - YOURSELF.
(Thanks to the Ririan Project for this article)

A Special Tu B'Shevat Seder For You!

2007-01-30T16:59:00.000+02:00

Shalom Dear Listeners,

After many bouts of coughing (and just a few more on the way), I've made it out of quarantine, and am back with you for another great week of the Eyshet Chayil Show!!

This week, we discuss the fun (and yummy) holiday of Tu b'Shevat, the holiday of the trees.

I have put together a very special seder that I think will be meaningful for all of you who believe that being proactive, that putting forth extra effort, that good intentions, can truly make the world a better place. I am now setting it free in the great wide web of the world, so that you can enjoy it at home!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR OWN COPY!

Be a Chassidic Feminist!

2007-01-09T13:26:00.000+02:00

Shalom, wonderful listeners and readers!

On this week's Eyshet Chayil Show, we talked about all sorts of interesting things, including this week's Torah portion, and the Jewish guidelines for nighttime.

With only an hour a week, we can't always cover ALL the great stuff that's going on in the world, on the internet, or in Malkah's whirling little mind. So here are two articles, from TOTALLY different sources, that will be your supplement!

The first is from www.jewishwoman.org, a subsidiary of Chabad.org. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Chassidic Feminist
By Rivkah Slonim

I would describe myself as a Chassidic feminist. The two terms are not mutually exclusive, though their combination is not without tension. Primarily, I am a Chassid, and my identity is wrapped up in that word.
I was born into a Chabad-Lubavitch family that never questioned the intellect or ability of a woman. I grew up surrounded by female role-models of strength, character and intelligence.

This was rooted to a large extent in our Chassidic background. The Chassidic approach to Judaism--and especially the Chabad-Chassidic approach -- brought a certain equality and an enhanced status to women in Jewish life, which increased further over the generations as women took on a larger, more prominent role.My femininity was more than just the way I was...

The women in my family were a force to be reckoned with, and as I soon learned, never to be underestimated.
As I was growing up, there was nothing I felt was beyond my reach, except perhaps shul life as enjoyed by the men. This often seemed unfair, but there was an understanding that this was just the way it was.
As I grew older, I realized that I enjoyed being female. My femininity was more than just the way I was; it was a unique part of who I wanted to be and how I wanted to express myself.

Yes, there were things I wished I could do. But I lived in a world of absolutes, the Torah world. I loved that world and I knew it to be true. If in a world of absolutes there were certain things a woman didn't do... I just wouldn't do them even if I wanted to.

They never loomed all-important. The joy and potential for fulfillment in the Chassidic-Jewish lifestyle, coming from knowing who you are and having a sense of direction and purpose in life, was far more significant.

I am still somewhat bothered by issues which, in this pre-Redemption era, have yet to be resolved. I am still drawn to some feminist polemics and compelled by certain arguments. But I know that after all of the arguments, refutations and debate, something must speak to the soul.

From somewhere there must come the ability to look beyond the individual issues to the totality that is Judaism. For me that has been the teachings of Chassidut.

Whenever I feel a tug, I ask myself some simple existential questions. Why am I here? Chassidut answers: to transform this world into a dwelling place for G-d, a place of spirituality and sanctity. Mitzvot in accordance with Halachah, Torah law, are our only tools for doing this.

An explanation of Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs, has been particularly meaningful to me. Song of Songs speaks of a love between woman and man; it is a metaphor for the relationship between G-d and the Jewish people.

The literature is graphic and overwhelmingly physical; it resonates heat and passion. Here is the vivid joining of man and woman, a physical meshing and weaving of their bodies -- sexuality as the nexus of body and soul.
For G-d/Jew relationship is not meant to be platonic. It calls for nothing less than a coupling of body and soul: action.

A mitzvah is spirituality realized with and within the physical realm; it is the only way for a human to draw on the Divine. On this level, unity and oneness cannot be achieved through even the most sincere emotions or most passionate exclamations. There must be action.For if I wish to be in a relationship with G-d, I must make room for G-d within me...

Taking the male/female metaphor a step further, we know that conception occurs when one, the woman, accepts the other into her self. In their oneness, in their transcendence of self, the two potentially create a third, new, reality.

As Jews we need to create this opening within ourselves. In our relationship with G-d, we all -- both men and women -- must strive to purge ourselves of the overriding ego and, in its stead, create a space to accept and embrace G-d in a spirit of receptivity.

When we transcend the self and allow for fusion with G-d, on His terms, only then is there the possibility of "progeny," of eternity, in our relationship.

Relating this thought to myself, I cannot allow anything -- the winds of society, the most finely tuned arguments, my own desires -- to come between me and the performance of that action: mitzvot according to Halachah.

And if there is within me what Steinsaltz calls the strife of the spirit, it is mine to grapple with.
For if I wish to be in a relationship with G-d and tap into eternity, I must make room for G-d within me, even if it means negating the "I" that stands in the way.

There is an image that comes to my mind:
On a Friday morning some months ago, I walked into my grandparents' kitchen and witnessed a scene which to them was just life, but for me was a revelation.

My grandfather was in one corner of the room putting on his tefillin. My grandmother was in the other, separating a portion of the challah dough (which my grandfather had kneaded for her so that she could fulfill the special mitzvah). He was reciting the Shema, she the appropriate blessing for separating "challah."
Both were praying with equal fervor. Both were in communication with their G-d, with no thought of their "roles." They were joined with the Divine, in a place above distinctions.

Although at the core my life and my grandmother's lives reflect the same values, there is a major difference.The feminist movement has helped society catch up to the Chasidic world.

My grandmother grew up in an age when a woman's role was unquestioned, when life was much simpler, and whatever choices existed were based on necessity, not personal options. I, on the other hand, am immersed every day in the chaotic, constantly changing world of the near-21st century.

My grandmother has strength and purity; her vision is pristine and untainted. She has what one would call clarity, while I have tensions. My vision is often obscured by my ego. I too can feel and sense what she does, but not intuitively.

My intellect has to become involved to a much greater extent, and I have to find my inspiration and strength in a deeper understanding of Torah. I must study to know what she knows in her gut.

The Chassidic lens gives me a perspective of the world in which we live, and the changes which take place within it. Jewish mysticism explains that with the advent of Moshiach, the feminine powers in this world will become predominant. The Schechinah (feminine dimension of the Divine) will be manifest, and the feminine attributes will be the primary conduits for G-dliness in this world. It seems to me that the women's movement as we know it actually reflects this spiritual reality.

I feel grateful to the feminist movement for the positive changes it has brought for women. It has brought opportunity, equitable pay and respect to the female half of society. My perception is that the feminist movement has helped society catch up to the Chasidic world.

Today, we see a feminism more grounded in the female self. We see a new generation recognizing the joy and fulfillment in motherhood. There is a dawning that we women are different, biologically, psychologically, intellectually, spiritually and in every other way.

There has yet to come the knowledge that we need not diminish that unique identity in any way in our quest for recognition and respect.

That's some deep stuff!!

Next, let's flex our "Chassidic Feminism", by becoming better and more efficient at the things we do - from www.realsimple.com:

31 Ideas for 31 Days
(I've removed some that I thought were irrelevant for our purposes)

1. Write a bona fide letter to someone who won’t expect it. Think of a person who really matters to you and recount one of your most hilarious moments together, thank her for guiding you through a difficult time, or just tell her that you want to get together more often.
2. Enlist everyone in the house, including the kids, to speed-clean one drawer. Set up a box for donations and another for trash.
3. Empty your e-mail in-box. Delete and file. If your entire in-box is too overwhelming to tackle, focus on one day or one week of e-mails first.
4. Take digital photos of all the valuables in one room for insurance purposes. Keep the photos in a folder with original receipts or estimated values and serial numbers or warranties.
5. Toss all the liquor bottles in your bar that are less than one-eighth full (like that 1989 crème de menthe). If there’s more than a cocktail’s worth, try out a new drink, such as a stinger or an Amaretto sour. (many of these things should be tossed before Passover, anyway)
6. Try one new food.
7. Donate to your favorite charity. There are so many great charities in Israel - there's also Israel National Radio (donate@israelnationalradio.com).
8. Send a year’s worth of blooms to yourself (or a loved one) through a floral site like http://www.calyxandcorolla.com/calyx.storefront/45897612000b4773271c0a00141505ca/Catalog/1008, where you can order cut flowers or plants delivered monthly (cost: about $30 to $50 a month). Of course, if you want to REALLY love yourself, send yourself roses from Israel - www.israelrose.com.
9. Buy a few lint rollers and hang one near every entrance to the house. No more frantic searching for the defuzzer at the last minute or getting caught in a meeting with Rover’s yellow hair all over your black dress. 10. Schedule a day off from work.
11. Program five essential numbers into your cell phone, like your doctor and your favorite take-out place, to avoid searching in address books and phone books for the same numbers again and again.
12. Swap music. Switch MP3 players with your spouse, child, or friend and listen to his or her favorite playlist. You’ll discover new artists, and you just might learn something about the person you swapped with. (Your macho husband likes ’N Sync?)
13. Clean your sink. Really clean it. First rinse it with very hot water. Then use a nonabrasive all-purpose cleanser (such as Bon Ami) to avoid scratching. “Gently and briskly rub with a damp sponge or cloth,” says Brian Sansoni, vice president of communication for the Soap and Detergent Association. Rinse and dry with a clean towel, then pour baking soda down the drain to reduce odors.
14. Make your own trail mix by combining the last bits of cereal, raisins, and nuts stashed in the rear of the cupboard. Try leftover Cheerios, pretzel pieces (including the salt at the bottom of the bag), almonds, and chocolate chips.
15. Create your own “Best of 2006” tally. With all those must-see, -read, and -hear lists popping up at the end of the year, it can be hard to keep track of what you wanted to check out.
16. Clear all expired food from the refrigerator.
17. Create a list of parties you think would be fun to throw this year. Then later you can pick one and make it happen. Come up with a fun theme, such as winter carnival, where couples or kids compete for the best snowman and play tug-of-war and snow soccer.
18. Restack nesting bowls and Tupperware. Match lids with bottoms and toss oddball items.
19. Make a short wish list of satisfying — and easily doable — “fun” resolutions for the coming year. Include things like visiting a museum you keep meaning to get to, saving for an overseas vacation, or making that Hot Chocolate Cake you saw in Real Simple.
20. Pare down cooking utensils and gadgets. Remove everything you don’t use regularly (the potato masher) so you don’t waste time hunting for the things that you do use every day (measuring spoons). Put the extra items in a different drawer, or in a clear bin in the pantry or under the sink.
21. Replace years-old pictures in frames (so long, bad highlights) with new ones (hello, fabulous bob).
22. Memorize a short poem (or an expression from Ethics of Our Fathers!).
24. Flip through the holiday cards you received. You were harried enough just opening the mail through the season. Take 15 minutes to reread Uncle Dan’s family letter and marvel (again) at how much little Will has grown in just one year.
25. Put a few sturdy glasses in the freezer and store them there. Frosty mugs make iced tea, root beer, lager — even water with lemon — taste better.
26. Check the oil in your car.
27. Tighten those loose screws. Take your 15 minutes and walk through the house with a screwdriver. Tighten cabinets, door pulls — anything that has a screw loose. (No, not your husband.)
28. Cut up fruit and freeze it for smoothies. It’s the perfect use for produce that is almost past its prime.
29. Remove the wax from your candle holders and change the candles.
30. Jot down 15 places you’d like to visit in the next 15 years. Whether it’s the Swiss Alps or the Southwest’s Monument Valley, when you’re planning your next vacation, you can pull out your list and get reinspired. (I hope most of those places will be in the Land of Israel!)
31. Grab a power nap. “Even 5 or 10 minutes can make a difference,” says Chris Drake, a senior scientist at the Henry Ford Hospital Sleep Disorders and Research Center, in Detroit.

Honor Thy Father and Mother!

2007-01-02T10:44:00.000+02:00

(to see the pamphlet put out by NCSY, click on the image)

On this week's show, we discuss the laws pertaining to honoring your father and your mother - not always easy!

However, there are so many ways to show your parents you care. I stumbled across an odd but truly helpful way - helping your parents go higher-tech. Wouldn't it be nice if your parents knew how they could use a computer, so they could video-phone you, listen to downloads of Mozart, or search the best methods to raise begonias? The massive global enterprise, Microsoft, has tips to help you help your parents get savvy.

Malkah's New Boots

2007-01-02T10:37:00.000+02:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fashion-Conscious and Rugged alike, the day has arrived:

The unveiling of Malkah's new boots.

I would like to thank the academy, I mean, my husband Yishai, for honoring my Hanukkah boot request and braving the Malcha Mall with me for 3 hours to find a trendy and yet practical shoe to protect and adorn me during the long winter ahead.

True, this quest has not been "important" or "meaningful" in any way. It is simply one more happy ending in the Land of Israel. Plus, we ate a tasty sandwich in the food court, and that's always good.

With no further ado, I present, Malkah's 2007 black boots:

Produced by Zamsh (supplier of boots since... I have no idea).

Here's my boot at the office!

I want to thank all of you who have supported my boot quest for so long. I hope these boots last a while, so we can all move on.

;-)

Find Out If Your Child Has Good Self-Esteem

2006-12-26T12:53:00.000+02:00

Shalom, wonderful, beautiful, talented, holy readers (and listeners)!

After we've packed in a few tons of latkes, doughnuts, and chocolate coins collectively, we might not be feeling so great about ourselves.

But why not? How can we fight unhealthy urges to loathe our bodies or to just generally feel badly about ourselves? Listen up on the Eyshet Chayil Show entitled "Look Good and Feel Great - Jewish Style!"

After all, we wouldn't want to pass our hang-ups and insecurities to *gasp* our children, would we?

Despite our best efforts, our children can still develop poor self-esteem - I mean hey - growing up is hard! To find out whether YOUR child has good self-esteem (and what to do if she doesn't), click here.

Let Your Kids Color Their Way to a Happy Chanukkah!

2006-12-12T21:32:00.000+02:00

On this week's Eyshet Chayil Show, we discussed the strong connection between Chanukkah and the Jewish value of giving your children a strong Jewish eduction.

Here are some activities to share with your children so they can have the best Chanukkah ever!

To start off, here's a great coloring page from www.aish.com:

Want to make a dreidel for each of your children? Encourage your little ones' creativity with these pencil dreidels from www.babaganewz.com:

Here's one more coloring page from www.torahtots.com:

If your child is privileged enough to be enrolled in a Jewish school, or in Hebrew classes, here's a fun activity from www.aklah.com:

Delicious Recipes from The Kosher Palette II!!

2006-11-28T22:59:00.000+02:00

On this week's Eyshet Chayil Show, I interviewed Sandra Blank, the author of The Kosher Palette II. So here are a couple of recipes for you to sample - let me know what you think!!!

Vegetable Bundt Frittata

2 cups (1-inch) pieces fresh asparagus or broccoli
salt to taste
12 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder.
2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese, divided
2 small onions, chopped
1 carrot, grated
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 scallions, chopped

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a 12-cup bundt pan with nonstick cooking spray. STeam asparagus in boiling salted water in a saucepan for 5 minutes or until tender-crisp and bright green; drain. Whisk eggs in a bowl until foamy. Add milk and continue whisking until blended. Stir in flour and baking powder. Add 1 1/2 cups cheese, asparagus, onions, carrot, salt and pepper and mix well.
Pour egg mixture into prepared pan and bake for 45 minutes or until golden brown. Cool in the pan on a wire rack. Frittata can be made in advance up to this point. Increase oven temperature to 500 degrees or preheat broiler. Invert cooled frittata onto an oven-safe plate and sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup cheese and scallions. Bake or broil until cheese melts. Serve immediately. Makes 12 to 16 servings.

Cold Green Beans with Dill and Pecan Sauce

1 1/2 pounds fresh green beans
3/4 cup chopped scallions
3 tablespoons minced parsley
3 tablespoons minced dill
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/4 cup olive or vegetable oil
3 tablespoons cider vinegar or wine vinegar
salt and pepper to taste

Steam green beans for 5 to 7 minutes or until tender and crisp. Rinse with cold running water to stop cooking. Drain well. Mix beans with scallions. Combine parsley, dill, pecans, olive oil, vinegar and salt and pepper to taste in a jar with a tight-fitting lid. Shake to combine. Pour over beans and toss to coat. Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Butter Pecan Cookies

1 1/2 cups pecans
1 cup margarine, softened
2/3 cup sugar plus extra for rolling
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread pecans on a baking sheet and toast for 6 minutes, watching carefully to prevent burning. Chop pecans. Beat margarine with 2/3 cup sugar with electric mixer for 1 minute or until light. Add flour, vanilla and salt and mix to form a dough. Fold in pecans. Shape into balls and roll in remaining sugar. Place 3 inches apart on cookie sheets and press with the bottom of a glass to flatten. Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on wire racks. Makes 2 1/2 dozen.

Enjoy! If you like these, you can purchase the cookbook at http://www.thekosherpalette.org/. I'll post the recipe I promised - cheese latkes - tomorrow.

Are You a Smart Shopper?

2006-11-21T13:06:00.000+02:00

On this week's Eyshet Chayil Show, we explored that desperate, maniacal, haunting need to fill ourselves (both literally and figuratively) with more, more, MORE!!

Why, oh why is that brownie so tempting? What is it that screams out "check out that sale on boots!" when you already have 3 good pairs in your closet?

Check out this quiz at Ladies' Home Journal to find out if you are an emotional shopper.

Sarah's Tent of Timeless Beauty

2006-11-19T18:07:00.000+02:00

Welcome, welcome, daughters of Sarah, to Sarah's tent of timeless beauty. At 89 years old, she was such a dazzling beauty that kings were kidnapping her to be their beautiful young wife!!

Before you settle in for a good sob, wondering where all those great genes went, take heart! We may not be able to pull off Sarah's 90 year old glow at her age, but we can all take steps to age gracefully.

The lovely folks at Ladies' Home Journal have some tips for you on eating right to look GOOD!:

7 Anti-Aging Miracle Foods
By Emily Dorn

These healthy, delicious foods are super-charged with important nutrients to help you live longer, and healthier.

Add the following seven super foods to your shopping cart and you just might unlock the key to longevity. Sue Moores, MS, RD, spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, explains how these foods delay the onset of aging and the risk of age-related disease.

Yogurt
Dairy is often difficult to digest, but gentler yogurt is an easy way to get the calcium you need -- and more. One serving a day delivers a dose of healthy probiotics -- "good" bacteria that helps promote a balanced intestinal environment. "As we age," Moores says, "we can lose bacteria in our intestine, making it more difficult to prevent digestive diseases." The probiotics found in yogurt, namely acidophilus, serve as a natural defense against potentially harmful organisms. But all yogurt is not created equal: Read the container's nutrition label to ensure that the brand you choose contains active cultures. Serving size: 1 cup Calorie count: 138 Quick tip: Opt for plain, lower-fat yogurt, because the flavored varieties frequently contain added sugar.

Salmon
As the anti-aging ambassador of marine cuisine, salmon has omega-3 fatty acids, essential fats that reduce inflammation in the body, warding off a laundry list of age-related ailments: arthritis, heart disease, high blood pressure, and more. Plus, "fish is brain food," proclaims Moores. Its oils have been shown to strengthen memory performance and decrease the slowing of mental faculties as we get older. Serving size: 3-4 ounces Calorie count: about 150 Quick tip: Toss canned salmon over salad as you would with tuna.

Blueberries
For a fruit that is often marginalized to muffins, we are sorely overlooking this power berry. Blueberries are another essential "brain food," because they consist of loads of phytonutrients, or plant chemicals, recently touted for their role in preventing age-related neurological disorders. Moores advises, however, to head straight to the source -- consuming dietary supplements in place of the pure berry is not guaranteed to provide you with as many of its benefits, not to mention the fruit's tasty pleasures! Serving size: 1/2 cup Calorie count: 40 Quick tip: You can profit from blueberries year-round: There is no significant difference in the nutritional content of fresh, dried, or frozen berries.

Red Beans
All beans are gold mines of age-defying nutrients, but research shows that red beans hoard the greatest amount of antioxidants -- key components in the quest for prolonged youth. These substances, such as vitamins D, E, and A, are believed to repair damaged cells in the body, and in doing so might avert the development of Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's, and cancer. Red beans are also packed with another longevity champion -- folic acid -- a dementia preventative. Serving size: 1/2 cup Calorie count: 310 Quick tip: Opt for dried beans to get the most out of this legume; canned beans often contain too much salt.

Flax Seed
It has been estimated that 30 to 40 percent of all cancers can be prevented by lifestyle and dietary measures alone, and flax is the gastronomic superstar of deterrence. The seed also promotes youthful, supple skin because of its high concentration of oils that, like salmon's omega-3s, lower the amount of inflammation in the body. Serving size: 2 tablespoons Calorie count: 118 Quick tip: Sprinkle your daily serving of ground flax over cereal or oatmeal for an easy breakfast supplement.

Quinoa
"We tend not to eat as much when we consume foods that are high in fiber," says Moores, because they fill us up with fewer calories. The result? Consistently ingesting less helps us maintain a healthy weight and decreases our chances of developing diabetes. Light and fluffy quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) has the dynamite nutritional content of the healthiest grains, but it is actually a plant seed, and it's jam-packed with protein, iron, B vitamins, and minerals, too. Serving size: 1/4 cup Calorie count: about 159 Quick tip: Instead of cooking quinoa in water, use low-sodium vegetable broth -- it will impart a rich flavor without adding fat.

Kale
Although often passed over in favor of its cousin cabbage, kale's crisp, dark leaves are bursting with micronutrients, potassium, and carotenoids, all essential for lowering risks of heart disease and even cataracts. Low-calorie kale is also calcium-rich, and its high concentration of vitamin A has been linked with a reduced incidence of cancer. Serving size: 1 hearty cup Calorie count: about 34 Quick tip: Combine steamed kale with something sweet, such as lightly sauteed onions, to offset its slightly bitter taste.
Originally published on LHJ.com, February 2006.

Host Your Guests in the Lap of Luxury!

2006-11-01T10:40:00.000+02:00

On the last episode of The Eyshet Chayil Show, we discovered what the Sages have to say about being an immaculate host, as well as how to be a delightful guest.

Nothing says "welcome to a Jewish home" like a pleasant guest room. In the grand tradition of our noble ancestor, Abraham, we like to invite friends (and even strangers) to share in a Shabbat weekend or a holiday's festivities.

So how can you make your hospitality something to remember?

Here are some tips from Martha Stewart:

OUTFITTING A GUEST ROOM

Decorate Sparingly
In a strange room, comfort and space are more soothing than a clutter of unfamiliar things. On a bedside table, place a single flower bloom in a simple glass, a nice clock, and a selection of books suited to your guest’s taste.

Closets and Drawers
Make sure that there is adequate closet and drawer space. Supply a variety of hangers, at least a dozen good wooden or metal ones—that will hold trousers and jackets, flimsy dresses, and heavy coats. And make certain there is a full-length mirror.

Bathroom Essentials
If the bathroom is shared, clear space in it for guests’ toiletries. Stock it with new toothbrushes and toothpaste, a plush robe, and a supply of clean cotton towels for each guest. Supply a few luxuries that one might not find at home: a beautiful soap or an unusual cream, a special shampoo, or a small bottle of perfume or cologne. If your guest has allergies, provide a hypoallergenic soap and moisturizer.

Extra Comforts
After you’ve provided the basic necessities, consider some of these extra touches to make guests feel at home.

Sitting Area
Space permitting, set up a comfortable chair or settee with a pillow and throw, an adjacent table, and a good adjustable-brightness lamp. Assemble a small personal library, including some magazines and a daily newspaper (useful for local listings like concerts). A radio for morning news and quiet evening listening is a thoughtful addition; you might also include a portable cassette or CD player with a selection of music (of course, Martha would tell you not to worry too much about providing the electronics for Shabbat or holidays, since we don't listen to them, anyway!)

Desk Supplies
Provide a small desk or a cleared tabletop, and stock it with pens and paper, note cards, envelopes, and stamps. Compile a list of some favorite local places—restaurants, cafés, museums, antiques shops, cinemas—and provide timetables, if appropriate, for buses, ferries, or trains. A telephone in the room is a convenience, but not a necessity.

Extra Warmth
If the room has wood floors (or stone floors, like here in Israel), place a small rug beside the bed. For visitors during the coldest months, think of providing a hot-water bottle in a soft slipcase, a soothing amenity your guests won’t have expected to find.

Food and Drink
Consider your guests’ food preferences: If one is a vegetarian, or allergic to fish or dairy products, be sure your menus include options and that your pantry and refrigerator are appropriately stocked. Show guests where to find snacks, drinking glasses, and utensils, and encourage them to help themselves. Leave a pitcher of spring water and a glass on the bedside table in the guest's room.

Of course, the most important element of good hospitality is creating a warm and welcoming environment which is sensitive to the needs of the guest. Show your guest that you and your home are at her service, and you are sure to have a terrific time!!

Welcome to Malkah's Rockin' After-Party!

2006-10-17T13:24:00.000+02:00

After Sukkot party, that is....

Well, I hope all of you had the best EVER Sukkot, filled with shaky lulavs, breezy afternoons, and warming soups!

On today's show, we reminisced about our holiday, and learned the deep connection between Sukkot and Pesach! To read the article that I shared with you, click here.

Because I had to zoom, zoom, zoom through the recipe for candied etrog, here it is for leisurely copying:

Candied Etrog Peel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With sharp knife, score peel of 2 etrogs into quarters. Remove peel gently with fingers. Heat etrog peel and 6 cups water to boiling. Simmer 30 minutes; drain. Repeat process, cooking peel in another 6 cups water. With
spoon, gently scrape off remaing white membrane from peel. Cut peel lengthwise into 1/4-inch strips. Heat 2 cups sugar and 1 cup water to boiling, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Add peel; simmer 45 minutes, stirring frequently. Turn mixture into strainer; drain thoroughly. Roll peel in 1-1/2 cups sugar; spread on waxed paper to dry.

This recipe was adapted from one that I read on www.cyber-kitchen.com.

Also, I requested that you contact me with ideas for future Eyshet Chayil shows!! Because we are approaching the only holiday-less month in the year, we need to come up with some fresh new ideas - FOR YOU! So e-mail me at malkah at israelnationalradio.com with your ideas.

How To Parent Your Kids For a Good School Year!

2006-09-14T12:41:00.001+03:00

Shalom All!

Two weeks ago on the Eyshet Chayil Show, we discussed ways to help your kids get ready for the new school year.

I don't have any kids in school, but there's something very endearing about this topic to me (maybe because I always got so excited about those new notebooks). So here's a little more good advice from the good folks at Family Circle Magazine:

The Secrets to School Success
By Mary Garner Ganske
Kids who know how to get the work done not only do better in school, they also have happier lives. Here's what it takes to get them motivated.

The Importance of Motivation
[...]Motivation is not only important for academic success, it's also linked to a healthy sense of self. "Kids don't develop self-esteem by having their parents tell them how great they are," says David Walsh, PhD, author of No: Why Kids -- of All Ages -- Need It and Ways Parents Can Say It (Free Press). "They get it from feeling competent -- achieving goals, doing things for themselves."
Trouble is "the culture today sends the message that everything should be fast, easy, and fun," says Walsh. With the immediate gratification of instant messaging and TiVo, kids don't learn patience or determination. This makes it tough to tackle complex tasks, like solving geometry proofs or reading Shakespeare. Parents make things worse by doing for their children what their kids can, and should, do for themselves. "They don't want their kids to be discouraged or disappointed," says Walsh. "But these feelings are important building blocks for achievement." So how can you motivate your kids? We had experts develop a 10-step plan to jump-start the students in your house.

The 10-Step Program
1. Unleash a natural love of learning. There are two types of motivation: extrinsic (I'm going to study Flaubert so I can get an A on my English test) and intrinsic (I love 19th-century French literature and can't wait to study Flaubert). "There's nothing wrong with being motivated by external rewards -- straight A's, getting into a good college, even the promise of a new iPod. After all, adults work, at least in part, for the money," says Mel Levine, MD, professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School in Chapel Hill, and author of The Myth of Laziness (Simon & Schuster). "But kids should also have one or two subjects that really resonate with them. This builds 'motivation muscle.' Ideally their enthusiasm will spill over into other areas." Feed your child's passions: If she's fascinated by fashion, subscribe to fashion magazines, sign her up for a design class. If he loves to cook, help him look up recipes and prepare dishes for the family.

2. Be a cheerleader. Set an upbeat tone. "If parents are eager about learning, children are more likely to be," says Ron Clark, author of The Essential 55: An Award-Winning Educator's Rules for Discovering the Successful Student in Every Child (Hyperion). "Too many parents give off negative signals. They say, 'Fifth grade is going to be really hard' or 'I hated math when I was your age.'" Try to maintain a positive attitude toward your child's teacher. Yes, there are so-so educators, but belittling them in front of your child sends the message that she can slack off in that class. Instead, meet with the teacher. If you're still not satisfied, see a school administrator.

3. Set realistic expectations. Focus on effort rather than grades. If your child studies hard for a test and gets three answers wrong, that's fine because he tried. But if he doesn't prepare and gets three wrong, explain that you expect him to put more energy into studying. Insist that he do his homework or read a book for a minimum amount of time each night. (Ask the school what it recommends.)

4. Empower a diehard procrastinator. Encourage a foot-dragger to develop her own study routine. "I have children draw lines with the times of day next to them, then fill in what they're going to do each half-hour from the time school lets out until bedtime," says Myrna Shure, PhD, author of Thinking Parent, Thinking Child (McGraw-Hill). "They're much more likely to comply if it's their own idea." A schedule also takes nagging out of the picture. If your daughter is slotted to do math from 4:00 to 4:30, you don't have to get on her case at 3:00, when she's decompressing with a copy of Us Weekly.

5. Don't force kids in over their heads. Urging your child to overachieve isn't always the best approach. "Children are more motivated when they can accomplish a task without superhuman effort," says Dr. Levine. "Teachers tell me, 'This student will do better in math when he's motivated.' But I say, 'No, he'll get motivated when he starts doing better.'" In other words, the more success you have, the more you want to have. This doesn't mean your child should opt for easy classes or assignments. Just don't push so hard that he gets frustrated and gives up. The same goes for homework. If your son can't complete his science assignment without monumental help from you, either it's too challenging and needs to be altered, or he needs extra instruction from his teacher or a tutor.

6. Help, but not too much. If your child is having trouble with his homework, it's fine to act as a sounding board or point out which chapters he might reread to find the answer. But don't do the work for him. That undermines motivation ("Why bother working hard when Mom will do it for me?") and chips away at self-confidence ("I can't do it as well as she can, so I'm not going to try").

7. Prod -- don't push. Ask an underachiever to come up with ways he can be more diligent. Could he improve a subpar report by proofreading again or adding two more sentences? Rather than saying, "You obviously didn't study enough," when he comes home with a poor grade, say, in a neutral or compassionate voice, "How did you feel when you got that C?" Then ask him to plan a way to be more successful next time. "Most kids don't want negative consequences. They don't want to fail," says Shure.

8. Demonstrate your own studious side. "It's awfully difficult for kids to do their homework while their parents are watching TV," says Dr. Levine. There should be one hour every night, maybe after dinner, when everyone in the family is engaged in something brainy -- reading a book, finishing a sudoku puzzle, playing chess. If you've brought work home, or have a volunteer project to complete, be open with your kids about it. "If they see you exhibiting a strong work ethic, they're more likely to develop one as well," says Dr. Levine.

9. Learn as a family. Collaborate on activities that require your children to delay gratification and build their stick-to-it-iveness. For example, if you're planning to buy a new car, let your kids check safety records and investigate extras. Last spring I encouraged my girls to plant a vegetable garden. They spent hours determining what plants do well in our area, poring over seed catalogs, revising garden layouts, then digging, weeding, and watering. The final product -- a charming and abundant garden -- has been a source of delight and pride. That kind of success builds motivation.

10. Praise instead of punishing. If your daughter misses half the problems on a math test, you can still celebrate her progress. "What inspires kids is knowing that their parents are proud of them," says Dr. Levine. So display an A+ paper on the fridge or brag about your kids when they're in earshot. Just be sure you don't overpraise, advises Walsh. Saying "good job" for every worksheet completed dilutes the effect. If you decide to use monetary rewards, do so sparingly, so the focus stays on accomplishment rather than on material gratification. An occasional surprise -- a trip to a batting cage, a new pair of earrings -- is enough to underscore your enthusiasm. In my house I make sure rewards aren't too splashy and are at least a little bit educational -- a book of Mad Libs, a knitting kit, a jigsaw puzzle. Whatever you decide, the hope is that success eventually becomes its own reward, that a job well done will give your child the confidence and desire to reach ever higher.

Defrazzling an Overachiever
What about the perfectionist, the one who gets hysterical if she forgets her homework or brings home a B?
Tell your child that it's okay to make mistakes, that she doesn't have to get every answer right, says Mel Levine, MD, author of The Myth of Laziness.
Explain that all you expect is for her to continue working as hard as she always has. She can do only her best, no more.
*Calm pretest jitters with a line like, "You've been studying all evening. Now it's time to relax. Why don't you call Sally or read a magazine?"
*Focus on the process, not the grade. When she brings home schoolwork, "instead of responding, 'Wow you got an A,' say, 'So, you studied the Civil War. What was most interesting about that period?'" says Dr. Levine. You'll also be reinforcing that what she has learned is what counts.
*Remind her that grades aren't always in her control. Everybody has an off day or gets a teacher who rarely gives A's.

Rebbe Nachman helps us get to the heart of Elul!

2006-09-05T20:03:00.000+03:00

Howdy!

On the last episode of the Eyshet Chayil Show, we continued our quest toward a meaningful Elul, and we explored the joys of "Back to School" - both are opportunities for renewal, growth, and 'turning over a new leaf'!

I don't know about you, but Elul can be a struggle for me. The harder I try to connect, sometimes, the more it seems that bad energy and my many sins and weaknesses get in the way!

When that happens, there's often one man I go to who can soothe my hurt and frustration (okay, aside from my husband): Rebbe Nachman.

There are a lot of great rabbis out there. I, for example, happen to love the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and Rav Kook.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe is terrific for making you want to serve G-d, for getting you excited about working hard, and for creating a juxtaposedly proud and humble Jew. Rav Kook is all about loving Jews and loving the Land of Israel.

Rebbe Nachman heals the torment of guilt. His teachings rely on the mitzvah of constant happiness and one's belief in his ability to be renewed - hitting the Elul nail right on the head.

Lovers of Rebbe Nachman frequently refer to his #1 student's homemade prayer book, Likutei Tefilot. Here is one prayer, in English, that is particularly meaningful to me right now:

A cry from the depths

Master of the Universe, Who lovingly hears the cry of His People Israel: have mercy on me and help me! Put it into my heart to call out and cry to You with perfect sincerity until You answer me. Let my cry become ever stronger, and let me give You no peace until You take pity on me and hear my cry, and lovingly help me reveal and give birth to the radiant light of holy wisdom and inspiration that are now so deeply concealed from me because of my sins. At present I have no real knowledge of You or how to serve You truly, and I find it impossible to gain new insight into Your holy Torah.

Master of the Universe: nothing is secret from You. You know my heart. I am so far from You right now that my face is covered with shame. I am embarrassed even to ask You to open up to me the hidden secrets of the Torah. I don't know what to ask for first, because I have not even started to purify and sanctify myself. Even so, You know the great preciousness of our holy souls at their root. You chose us from all the nations and called us the Holy People, a precious treasure, as it is written: 'And you will be My precious treasure out of all the nations'... 'For G-d has chosen Yaakov for Himself, Israel as His precious treasure.'

Have mercy on Your precious treasure, Your beloved one, the people of Your inheritance, Your pride and love out of all the hosts. In Your tender mercy You have called us by every affectionate name. You have love and favored us. You have exalted us about all tongues and brought us nearer to Your service, our King. Have pity on us - because we have fallen so low, and we are so despised. Rise up and help us! Save us! Put it into our hearts to cry out to You without respite until You have mercy on us. Turn Your face to us and draw us near.

I know that I have become to totally and utterly distanced from You that my cries are powerless to arouse and give birth to the wisdom and inspiration buried deep within me. Even if I could roar and scream like all the creatures in the world, it would still not be enough to express my inner pain over even one of the rebuffs I suffer in a single day. There's not a cry in the whole world that can help me bridge the terrible gulf that separates me from You. 'Even when I scream and shout, my prayer is closed up.' How much more so, seeing that I haven't even begun to cry out to You with all my strength.

Even so, You have taught us that You are filled with tender love for us at every single moment, and that You hear and pay attention to every cry in the world, even from the lowest depths, as it is written: 'From the belly of hell I screamed: You heard my voice.' I am therefore relying on Your great goodness and kindness. I put my trust in Your abundant mercy and loving kindness. I have hope that You will forgive me, and I am confident that You will save me. I stretch out my hands to you, Hashem my G-d and G-d of my fathers. Help me! Be kind to me! Awaken my heart until I feel the true intensity of my pain - the pain of my nefesh, my ruach and neshamah. Let me realize how totally far from You I am. Help me cry to You constantly with all my power and strength. And You have pity on me and hear my cry, no matter how inadequate it may be.

Loving G-d: heal my voice and help me develop a good, strong voice instead of my present weak, inadequate voice. Both when I learn Torah and when I pray, let me cry out loud. Loving G-d, help me learn to use my voice to arouse and give birth to that holy wisdom and inspiration that have become hidden from me because of my sins. My sins are so many that they have weakened the power of Heaven, as it were, so that even the Shekhinah is not strong enough to give birth to new inspiration. 'You weakened the rock that gave birth to you!' 'The children have come to the birth-stool, but there's no strength to give birth."

Master of the Universe: For Your sake if not for mine, for the sake of Your Shekhinah, help me cry out to You sincerely when I learn Torah and when I pray. Let my voice rise up and reach You. Accept my cries as if they were the cry of the Shekhinah, until I can arouse and give birth to the holy wisdom and inspiration that have become hidden from me. You alone know all secrets. To You it is revealed and known where the potential wisdom and inspiration of every single Jew are exiled and concealed. Help me and all other Jews to use our voices to arouse the holy wisdom and inspiration that have become concealed from us, from each one in a different way, until we will all be able to rise to ever higher levels of vision and inspiration, each according to the root of his nefesh, ruach and neshamah. Let us come to known and be connected to You with ever deeper understanding and reveal Your G-dliness to the world.

AMEN!

Hang In There, Commenters!

2006-09-05T19:59:00.000+03:00

Hey there, good friends!

I've been made aware that some of you are interested in commenting on my blog, but have been unable to do so because of the settings.

Well, either I'm technically inept, or the INR technical team has taken the comments settings out of my control (or both). Either way, I have written to our support staff, so don't give up on those comments! We'll get this straightened out shortly.

Kickoff to Elul!

2006-08-24T19:09:00.000+03:00

Here's an article to get you thinking about TESHUVA!!!!!!

There are three Hebrew synonyms: "Selichah," "Mechilah," and "Kapparah," all related to the idea of "forgiveness." What does each mean?
"Selichah," usually translated as "forgiveness" is the first step which must be taken if someone has committed a sin, whether it be against G-d or against Man. To ask for forgiveness is to say to the "injured" party, "I am sorry for what I did; I sincerely regret having done it, and I will never do it again." The appropriate response to this request is to believe that the petitioner is sincere and "open the door" for him or her to "come in." A person who refuses to do this is considered a cruel person.
Man blowing shofar and Kotel background adapted from a painting by Michel Schwartz.

"Mechilah," usually translated as "wiping away" is the response to the request "Can we put our relationship back on the level which it was on before I sinned against you?" A positive response to this is difficult, but within the G-dly powers given the human being, and is required.
"Kapparah," is usually translated as "atonement," as in Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. This is the response to the person who says, "My conscience will not let me live with myself, because of what I did to you and to our relationship." To respond positively to this is beyond human capacity. It is only G-d Who can reach inside a person and say "Be comforted." "Kapparah" is the climax of this three-part process, and is accomplished on Yom Kippurim.
1."Tomer Devorah" is a work by Rabbi Moshe Cordovero on the Attributes of G-d.

MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH SUCCESSFUL TESHUVA!

Enjoy the Last Days of Summer!

2006-08-20T23:09:00.000+03:00

Ah, those lazy days of summer - well, not for long! For those of you who are Shabbat-observant, you may have noticed that Shabbat is getting earlier again! What a year - we have been through so much together. For me, this must have been the fastest year of my life - shouldn't it be about May right now?

Well, for those of you who are still operating as if you just stowed away those cozy sweaters, WAKE UP! Time to squeeze the last juicy moments out of summer before we break out the stew recipes again.

If you joined me for my last show, Making the Most of Summer's End, you may have wondered where you can find all that great info on Halacha (Jewish law) pertaining to traveling (yes, there is Jewish law on this, too!). Visit the great people at Chabad.org for all the answers.

"But Malkah", you say, "I was so caught up with everything going on in Israel this summer, I don't have the time or resources to go on a big fancy trip - how can I provide some summer fun for the kids in the days before school starts."

Well, I sympathize. So here's a list of tips for providing a day of memorable summer fun for the little ones, courtesy of KidsDomain.com. Organize something just for your kids, for your extended family, for the whole neighborhood, or for your community center or synagogue:

Send them on a scavenger hunt. Your child can do this activity alone, with a friend or in teams, says Lisa Hall, director of the Eastern Start School Age Program in Oriskany, N.Y. Give your child a list of items to find in nature, such as a rock, dandelion, leaf or something a bird would eat. Have the kids draw pictures of what they find and finish the hunt by tallying up how many things they ticked off the list.

Chalk it up to fun. An inexpensive box of colored chalk can keep the kids busy for hours. Have younger kids draw pictures on the sidewalk or driveway. For the older children, try a game of Tic Tac Toe or hopscotch: draw a hopscotch pattern with eight squares. Players toss a marker (try a stone or button) into a square and then hop over it on one foot.

Bet on bug races. See how many critters the kids can spot—without actually picking them up--in the backyard for a short time period, such as five minutes, says Penny Warner, author of Kids Outdoor Parties (Meadowbrook Press). “Add up how many bugs they see and give them a sketch pad to sketch as many as they can. Then have them share their artwork.”

Knock ’em over with backyard bowling. Find household items that will tumble over easily, such as empty cereal boxes, empty soda cans and small stuffed toys and align them in a row like bowling pins, suggests Warner. Then, using a smaller ball for older kids and a bigger ball for the young ones, have the children roll the ball. They score a point for each object they knock down.

Play Kick the Can. A variation on Hide and Seek, this game works best with at least three kids. One person is designated “it” and will guard the “can” (an empty coffee can or ball) which is set in an open space. While the other players hide, the “it” counts to 20 (or higher) and then tries to find and tag the other players. If captured, players must go to “jail”. Any player who hasn’t been caught can run in and kick the can, setting all of the captured players free. If the “it” finds everyone, he wins the game.

Create an outdoor canvas. Hang an old sheet on a clothesline or tape paper to a fence for your budding artist to paint on. Encourage them to try painting with different kinds of brushes, says Warner. “Try dipping grass into paint and swishing it on paper, then try painting with a leaf or a twig. The kids can also try painting rocks and creating little people or bugs with them.”

Host a mini-Olympics. Get the kids competing in running and wheelbarrow races, obstacle courses, water balloon tosses and jumping competitions, suggests Hall. Finish off the fun with a mini-Olympic awards ceremony to honour all of the athletes. Buy medals at the local dollar store or make your own with construction paper, coloured pencils and string.

Now just whip up a pitcher of margaritas, gather the rest of the moms, and EVERYONE is having the best day-long summer vacation ever!

Little Ways to Fix the World

2006-08-14T13:46:00.000+03:00

Well, it seems that the cease-fire in Israel is on. While some people may see this is a good thing (hey - who likes war?), I see this is a complete disaster and a miserable failure on the part of our government. UN resolution 1701 will rebuild Lebanon, not disarm Hizbullah, and will place Lebanese troops and Europeans on the border of Israel to "protect us" (gee, I feel so safe). If I were a resident of the North, I might consider selling my house - who could return home to the safety of a Hizbullah "promise" not to fire rockets?

ARGH!!!!

The first piece of advice in relationship to this news would be to BOMBARD the Prime Minister's office, and the offices of all his cronies in the cabinet and in the Knesset, demanding that they resign - what a travesty they have wrought on our country.

The second piece of advice is that we just can't control everything. I know this isn't a revolutionary and original piece of advice, but sometimes we just have to suffice with our limited realm of influence. In Judaism, we understand that acts of kindness, goodness and friendship, can affect more than just our immediate surroundings - they can indeed lift up the situation of the entire Jewish people, of the entire world!

With that in mind, those of you who are depressed about the situation in Israel and who feel a little bit ineffective and small at the moment, consider taking a different tack, and affecting Israel through private acts of kindness. Here are some tips on being a good neighbor from the wonderful magazine, Family Circle:

Be quirky. Out-of-the-ordinary ideas, like a Baltimore neighborhood's annual croquet tournament, often draw people out of their shells. "Afterward, we drink champagne punch, nibble on finger food and chicken kabobs, and schmooze," says Mary Medland. Try this similar idea: Spread a mini-golf game throughout your neighborhood, with a different hole on each person's front lawn.
Write a newsletter worth reading. Include city-related news that affects your neighborhood, discuss projects everyone can be involved in, promote a House of the Month, etc. Include classifieds (free, of course) for everything from items for sale to baby-sitting services.
Always say hello. In the post office, grocery store or as people drive by your house, a quick smile and nod to strangers builds bonds. "We all long to connect with people and be valued in life. It helps us think, I have meaning here, I have a place here," says Leslie Levine, author of Will This Place Ever Feel Like Home? (Contemporary Books).
When Judi Kirkwood's son was unexpectedly hospitalized for a few weeks, her Madison, Wisconsin, neighbors decided to mow her lawn all summer. "They wanted us to have one less thing to worry about," she says.
Find a buddy. Ask the woman who always jogs by if she'd like company a few mornings a week -- you'll make a friend and get fit at the same time.

Sometimes we can't affect the big things as much as we'd like. But if we focus on the little things, maybe soon, we'll notice big changes. With G-d's help!!

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!

2006-08-01T12:45:00.000+03:00

Well folks, I've donated the very best of everything that I have to the war effort in the Land of Israel:

My husband, Yishai. Please pray for the safe and healthy return of YISHAI YAAKOV ben TZIONA. May Hashem bless him with courage and might, protection and life, for him and for all of our Jewish brothers who have put themselves in harm's way for the Jewish people. AMEN!

Tips for the Nine Days

2006-07-25T13:38:00.000+03:00

On this week's show, we are discussing the halacha (Jewish law) pertaining to the Nine Days. During the Nine Days, we do not eat meat (even poultry) or drink wine (even grape juice).

So what's for dinner? If you're tired of making lasagna when it's time to prepare a dairy meal, consider the following yummy (and Nine-Days-observant) options:

Lentils and Rice
Breaded Sole Fillets with Chard
Vegetable Quiche
Cheese Blintzes
Onion Pie
Nachos with Refried Beans (over brown rice)

Here's a recipe for a very easy, very inexpensive, and very tasty Israeli entree:

Shakshuka

1 - 16oz can of tomato paste with 1 cup water (or 1 24 oz can tomato sauce)

1- cup freshly chopped parsley

1- small onion, chopped

2 - Tbs olive oil

1- tsp salt

1 Tbsp sugar

6- 8 eggs

Mix all the ingredients except for eggs in a bowl, pour into large frying pan. Heat on high until steaming. Crack eggs (check for blood spots) and pour them one by one into the tomato mixture. Reduce to medium heat, cook until the eggs are solid. Serve hot

Enjoy this meal with salad on a baguette, with crackers, or even over rice!

Thanks for all your support

2006-07-25T13:32:00.000+03:00

I just want to thank all of you terrific listeners who have been praying for my mother, Leah bat Feiga. Because of your sincerity and heart-felt davening, she is doing significantly better. Please keep praying for her full and speedy recovery - I am so grateful to you!

Welcome To The Awesomest Jewish Women's Blog EVER!

2006-06-08T12:54:00.000+03:00

Shalom, and welcome to The Eyshet Chayil Show blog! This blog is dedicated to YOU - All of you incredible Jewish women out there, and all of you who are looking to be just a little bit more incredible.

I'm so excited to be able to share bits from my show with you, as well as extra tips, inspiration, and information!

Please feel free to write to me: malkah at israelnationalradio dot com.

***As my first post, I would like to ask for prayers for Leah bat Fayga, for a refuah shleimah (a speedy and full recovery).***

Thanks!